Midnight

It's midnight. It's late. Well, it is for me. It didn't used to be that way. This used to be the jumping off point. I still had hours to go through, things to do. I'd drive around aimlessly or sit in bed and write endlessly or talk on the phone for hours straight. I stayed up tonight to work on a mix CD for a friend, and I am horribly frustrated. I'm just not happy with it, no matter how much I tweak it. I'm worried that it's too boring. Or maybe I'm in a "mood". I think I am just going to go with it.

I want a basset hound. Ernie said no. Ernie is very, very smart. I couldn't handle a third dog. I will still proclaim that I want one though, even though I really don't.

I'm going to be 27 this year. Jeez. When I first started coming online, I was 15. I was the "kid" wherever I went. I still feel like a kid a lot, even though I am far from it. I always felt my youth was one of the few things I had going for me, and while I'm not screwed up enough to think of myself as old just yet, I'm painfully aware that I'm not getting any younger. Just like everyone else though...so...why even think about it?

I took down the Christmas cards today. Ernie has wanted them down since...well...the day after Christmas. I'm not sure he even wanted them up in the first place. I stacked them up and tied them with a red ribbon and tucked them away. If only things were always that easy.

I want to write again. Desperately. And I don't mean some stupid blog entry.