Lifes real Name is Called Bitch.

I swear to God This is why I fucking Hate Life. The Pressures that come along with it. This why many times in the past I wanted to Stab myself, jump in front of a train or Jump from a high place. This is why I doubt God sometimes cause hate, and hurt are much stronger than love.

I was born Justin Schlesinger, September 24th 1981. Born of from you Mom and Dad. A God Damn Human Fucking Being. I went to Marjorie H. Tobias Elemetery School, where I was put in Special Eduction for my learning Differences.
I was told I was not smart enough and because of that I did not do well in school. I sucked at art, MATH, but I was pretty good at English and history. I kept my self occupied LEARNING about Pompeii and Sharks.
I wanted to be a Pilot, Marine Biologist but again the bitch I will call life struck me again. I went to Stanbridge Academy (jr. high and highschool and while my parents did help so I can get the best education, I dont feel they got their moneys worth. The science clases were dismall until my last year when Clay came along. Brian was a good English Teacher, but my achillies Heal, Math well since my time there instead of getting help with it, no one seemed to care and thats why when I went to City College of San Francisco for their "Placement Test"
I tested low in Math and they told me I had to take Basic Math Again and thats where Bitch strikes again. My fear is around the corner but I am afraid to turn. Thats why I have been stuck at City for the Last 7 almost 8 years. I could have been a doctor by now.
As I said at the begining of this I have many times contimplated taking my life but I will not stoop so low, I have talked to those help lines. Some nights I when I am going to sleep I curse god for this cruel joke he has put upon me, calling him an asshole or the biggest fucking bitch of all time, is he not supposed to be a God of Love and compassion but I seem to get hate and uncarring in my life many times.

This brings me to my conclusion. I call my mom everyday to see how she is doing and like in the past today she starts to use un kind words, words used by the former Spec. Ed Teacher. She always says that my cousin or friends are not better than me but in truth that is what she is saying. "Your cousin who was not born in this country is already transfering to State." Her BF who was not born in this country has a masters. You will be their made some day or the worst part of it all that really got me is when she said do you want to have the same "Sad" little life your father and I have.

SAD WTF. So having 3 sons is SAD, Traveling to other countries, having a home to live and sleep in, a husband who care and children who care? What is a Sad life not supposed to be like? having a paper that says you have a BA/BS, Masters, PHD in this oh and thanks for your Thousands of Dollar. How many people who dont have a college education but are successful live a happy life. Being successful is having a good life with you family,not the education. Because like that Song from Dido "Life is For Rent. All materials including that diploma is only good for 40-50 years and then it expires along with you.

So Again Mom Please Tell me who God Is and what does he represent because a beliver like you in the almighty is not showing what God is and who he represents.


Love,
Justin Schlesinger,

Your Son who even though you said what you said earlier still LOVES and Cares for you so I don't want to hear I am a bad mother, you not a bad mother you just need to learn to use words better and know People have Feelings.