Check the meaning..
Posted 11-03-2009 at 08:55 PM by kafrun
Ive felt so many strange things since the aftermath of what happened. It's a foreign thing to me and I don't like it. I usually bounce right back from things and I've been through many things.. but I keep getting strange moods that come in waves. I get moments where I actually feel low 
That's not me at all. I'm sleeping through the night now, but I still have dreams about it. In one, he was standing on the other side of the front door, staring at me. He couldn't get in, but he wouldn't go away either. I want him.. it.. out of my head now.
So many of the things I've been feeling have been unexpected. I get irrationally angry at any guy who cat calls at me. It used to be the kind of thing I would brush off or even laugh at. Some of the things they say are hilarious - intentionally or unintentionally, but now I just get really angry if I see a man so much as turn his head to look at me as I walk by. I don't think many men realize how it comes across to a woman or even intend any harm, but I just want to lash out at them all. That's, again, not me.
I don't like feeling this way. I don't like being all mixed up, but as always I will turn a bad situation into the best learning experience possible. //badcliche.
I haven't told my family yet. I don't think I want to. My friends, here and at home, have been wonderful, though.
The bruise and the scrapes on my back are almost fully healed now. My friend came over to take pictures just in case.
..I think I'm done rambling about it for now. It's after dark already and I need to get home.
That's not me at all. I'm sleeping through the night now, but I still have dreams about it. In one, he was standing on the other side of the front door, staring at me. He couldn't get in, but he wouldn't go away either. I want him.. it.. out of my head now.So many of the things I've been feeling have been unexpected. I get irrationally angry at any guy who cat calls at me. It used to be the kind of thing I would brush off or even laugh at. Some of the things they say are hilarious - intentionally or unintentionally, but now I just get really angry if I see a man so much as turn his head to look at me as I walk by. I don't think many men realize how it comes across to a woman or even intend any harm, but I just want to lash out at them all. That's, again, not me.
I don't like feeling this way. I don't like being all mixed up, but as always I will turn a bad situation into the best learning experience possible. //badcliche.
I haven't told my family yet. I don't think I want to. My friends, here and at home, have been wonderful, though.
The bruise and the scrapes on my back are almost fully healed now. My friend came over to take pictures just in case.
..I think I'm done rambling about it for now. It's after dark already and I need to get home.
Total Comments 18
Comments
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words truly fail me kaffy...
till the end of time for u...Posted 11-03-2009 at 09:13 PM by U2Fanatic4ever 
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Posted 11-03-2009 at 11:20 PM by ladywithspinninghead -
Posted 11-03-2009 at 11:47 PM by Sicy -
Posted 11-03-2009 at 11:53 PM by Lila64 -
Posted 11-03-2009 at 11:57 PM by U2Girl1978 -
Hang in there, Kaf. And, I highly recommend going to a counselor. Like I said, PTSD is an asshole. Do everything you can to get through it, and take your time. It's a long process. Noone ever just bounces back after experiencing trauma, both emotional and physical.
I'm here for you, anytime.Posted 11-04-2009 at 07:34 AM by unico -
Posted 11-04-2009 at 09:40 AM by shari schultz -
Posted 11-04-2009 at 09:44 AM by BonosBaby12 
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Posted 11-04-2009 at 10:03 AM by Thora -
Kafrun, I just wanted to post another gentle and mention an organization that may offer you support and advice. RAINN is a confidential sexual abuse organization that provides a hotline for victims (and even friends of victims). They can simply be there just to listen but they can also offer support in the form of referrals, answers to questions pertaining to the recovery process and even advice on what to do after an assault. They can be reached at 1.800.656.HOPE
That aside I wish you peace and restful nights.Posted 11-04-2009 at 11:22 AM by Cleasai -
Have you considered dressing as a bat and roaming the streets at night enacting your own style of street vengeance upon evil doers? That might help. Worst case is you get to find out how effective pole dancing moves can be in the fight against crime.Posted 11-04-2009 at 11:50 AM by UberBeaver -
Hang in there Kaffy, take one day at a time and things will get better, i promise! I used to jump at shadows and noises behind me, even in broad day light... I ended up having to quit my job because my bosses didn't want to change their rules about closing for lunch (that was when and where it happened) and i was terrified of being in the office alone for that first half hour in the morning and the whole lunch hour... Every guy that walked in i saw as a threat, specially if i was cleaning inside the office and they just barged in instead of sitting in the waiting room... I thought my heart would just explode out of my chest. At the time i was going to school at night so i started taking swimming classes in the mornings and having that exercise helped me release the frustration and relax, plus it got my body stronger (i gained almost 5lbs of muscle)... When your body heals, take up kickboxing or something like that, taking your anger on that punching bag will help too...Posted 11-04-2009 at 04:09 PM by AngelK -
Just reading about all of this now. I am so sorry to hear this happened to you...how scary!
Posted 11-05-2009 at 08:35 PM by Mrs. Edge -
I am taking it one day at a time and today was a good day
I'm keeping busy with work and settling into my new place. Also, having a 70lb pit bull sleep in your bed helps at night 
I may still need to talk to someone about it, and the police do have a unit specifically for victim assistance, but we'll see.
Kelly - Kickboxing would be an excellent outlet and I might try it. Honestly, I think the pole dancing worked in my favour, because I don't think the creep was anticipating me being as strong as I am..
Beav - I lol'd
What an brilliant idea.Posted 11-05-2009 at 08:54 PM by kafrun -
Posted 11-05-2009 at 09:12 PM by U2Girl416 -
Kaf- im so sorry to hear about your experience ,
sending love and light from down under,
take care of yourself,
jen
Posted 11-06-2009 at 04:02 AM by mysterious_jen -
Let this be your path:
YouTube - Gymkata movie trailer
Let this be your inspiration:
YouTube - The Best Fight Scene Ever!Posted 11-06-2009 at 11:54 AM by Dalton - Thankyou again for the love and hugs
Dalton, I have no idea what I just watched, but :fuckyeah:!!Posted 11-06-2009 at 07:57 PM by kafrun
