I Haven't Changed...
Posted 03-10-2009 at 10:27 AM by LJT
...and I have.
I mean I make my own bread, biscuits. I cook proper meals for myself (make soups etc). I've taken up running at 6am in the morning, i've started doing essays earlier...quite simple stuff but not things I would have done before I came to Manchester, so that's all good
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I'm not entirely sure how to phrase this though. At times i'm an incredibly social animal, but around girls I like I bomb, well most of the time. Relationships elude me like rain eludes the Sahara. I'm happy as I am (as a person) but I feel if I changed in that respect(if there was such a way of changing) i'd lose what made me, well me. I've read plenty of times what advice some guys give on 'girl problems' in Zoo Confessionals, man up, be cocky blah de blah. Tis bull, works for some maybe but I doubt that is for most. I'm just an awkward individual who can't seem to string a few sentences together, or I say something nonsensical (as in I get quite trippy with things I say, esoteric would be the word).
Maybe it is just a wish for more confidence in myself? God even this is muddled. You would think I would have an easier time of it in a class of so many girls
Bah not even sure if i've made the point I was trying to make. When I crush on someone I sure do go head over heel, it's insanely daft.
Edit: I overthink...that I believe is my issue here.
I mean I make my own bread, biscuits. I cook proper meals for myself (make soups etc). I've taken up running at 6am in the morning, i've started doing essays earlier...quite simple stuff but not things I would have done before I came to Manchester, so that's all good
.I'm not entirely sure how to phrase this though. At times i'm an incredibly social animal, but around girls I like I bomb, well most of the time. Relationships elude me like rain eludes the Sahara. I'm happy as I am (as a person) but I feel if I changed in that respect(if there was such a way of changing) i'd lose what made me, well me. I've read plenty of times what advice some guys give on 'girl problems' in Zoo Confessionals, man up, be cocky blah de blah. Tis bull, works for some maybe but I doubt that is for most. I'm just an awkward individual who can't seem to string a few sentences together, or I say something nonsensical (as in I get quite trippy with things I say, esoteric would be the word).
Maybe it is just a wish for more confidence in myself? God even this is muddled. You would think I would have an easier time of it in a class of so many girls
Bah not even sure if i've made the point I was trying to make. When I crush on someone I sure do go head over heel, it's insanely daft.
Edit: I overthink...that I believe is my issue here.
Total Comments 7
Comments
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Having gone to an all girls high school that went co-ed when I was there, I can tell you the problem I see with being a guy in a school with a huge number of girls is that we tend to see you as "one of us" instead of a guy. It's not that we don't like you -- we do -- it's just that we tend to see you as a person and not as "boyfriend material." It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, because we should like the people we have a romantic interest in as people, but just seems to be the case. Sometimes it's just hard to see what is right in front of you.Posted 03-10-2009 at 02:03 PM by indra
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Probably is the case somewhat and probably won't get any easier with my progression into a career as a nurse
I'm a nurse, I bake, I can work out the amount of cloth you need to make curtains and make appropriate design choices (worked in Laura Ashley a design and female clothing store here)...i've become one of the girls.
To be fair though i'm pretty crap with girls outside of class too
Posted 03-10-2009 at 02:40 PM by LJT -
Perhaps you just haven't met the right person yet Joe? You seem like a really nice kind of guy and I find it hard to believe that girls wouldn't like you... with the ones you know, it's probably a case of what Indra said, and they seem you as a friend. If you want one of them to think of you romantically you'll just have to be really obvious about it
And yeah, cockiness doesn't work... confidence is nice, but arrogance is a real turn off.Posted 03-10-2009 at 04:12 PM by partygirlvox -
Yeah, I agree with Indra and Emma on this in terms of them probably seeing you as part of the group opposed to someone to date. I was in that position a lot throughout school. Despite what some in ZC would say there isn’t anything wrong being in “the dreaded friend zone.” Some things are just meant to be friendships. Sometimes you just have to be patient for someone that is attracted to you for who you are. The wait is a pain but it will be worth it.
Don’t ever listen to the people that say you should change or be cocky. Especially the cocky part because it is insulting to you and that woman. You will start to find people that are uniquely attracted to your qualities. You just have to be patient and sometimes things will bloom when you don’t even expect them. Hang in there.
Posted 03-10-2009 at 04:54 PM by Screwtape2 - I've been told i'm confusing...which probably doesn't help matters, i'm not very straight forward most of the time...I do loads of small things with girls I like, which they dig find great, but I tie them up in ways that make them less than what they are, as statements of 'I like you'. I haven't been very obvious
...btw when I said tied them up I obviously didn't mean the girls
Damn the girls in class for making me a better cook
Anyway cheers guys, I don't believe in that nonsense about being cocky, but I do feel I need to be more confident, even if I already come across as quite confident in a lot of things, i'm not so great on the girl front in approaching and what not.Posted 03-10-2009 at 04:59 PM by LJT -
Good, I was hoping you weren't talking about the girls. That would have explained why you were having no luck!
Just be yourself, friendly and kind. If you do ever like someone be honest. When you are open and yourself, that's when you'll be the most confident. I think women will be able to see that too. You are a really nice guy and you'll meet someone soon. Honestly is the best route in being straight forward. Just believe in yourself and keep trying.Posted 03-10-2009 at 05:19 PM by Screwtape2 - Hey not that I don't mind a bit of kinky
Posted 03-10-2009 at 05:40 PM by LJT
