Crappy Friend
Posted 02-26-2008 at 03:17 PM by ylimeU2
I've been unhappy with a lot of things in my life over the past few years, but I've worked at it and things are starting to change. I'm almost done with school, and I found a new job. I've made what I think is a real effort to get out more and not stay at home, feeling sorry for myself.
One person has always been there for, mainly to commiserate with, because our situations were so similar. I went out with her last week, and she asked me questions about what has been happening with me lately, and whenever I answered, she would cut me off and launch into how her life was so crappy, it was never going to change, and I was just going to abandon her now that my future was looking brighter. She got pissed off at me for telling her to hang in there, that things will change, and just look at me and my life and how our situations were practically the same only a few short months ago.
I don't expect anyone to be happy for me. I wasn't trying to rub anything in her face. I only mentioned things when she asked about them. She claimed I would abandon her as a friend, and when she did that, I had enough. I just couldn't listen to her anymore, so I paid and left. Since then, she has been calling and emailing me at least once a day to me all her woes, which she never did before.
Maybe we don't have so much in common anymore and honestly, we were never that close. Just went out once a month or sometimes less for drinks. I believe that there are people who are in your lives forever and there are people that come into your life, serve a purpose, and fade out of it again. I appreciated having a shoulder to cry on (it was mutual for a while), and I don't mind being one for someone else, but at what point does it become too much? Why should every conversation revolve around her and what she perceives is wrong with her life? And I feel like such a crappy friend for even thinking that way, but right now, I just don't want to deal with the negativity, especially when someone just wants to complain and not even try to make things better for themselves.
One person has always been there for, mainly to commiserate with, because our situations were so similar. I went out with her last week, and she asked me questions about what has been happening with me lately, and whenever I answered, she would cut me off and launch into how her life was so crappy, it was never going to change, and I was just going to abandon her now that my future was looking brighter. She got pissed off at me for telling her to hang in there, that things will change, and just look at me and my life and how our situations were practically the same only a few short months ago.
I don't expect anyone to be happy for me. I wasn't trying to rub anything in her face. I only mentioned things when she asked about them. She claimed I would abandon her as a friend, and when she did that, I had enough. I just couldn't listen to her anymore, so I paid and left. Since then, she has been calling and emailing me at least once a day to me all her woes, which she never did before.
Maybe we don't have so much in common anymore and honestly, we were never that close. Just went out once a month or sometimes less for drinks. I believe that there are people who are in your lives forever and there are people that come into your life, serve a purpose, and fade out of it again. I appreciated having a shoulder to cry on (it was mutual for a while), and I don't mind being one for someone else, but at what point does it become too much? Why should every conversation revolve around her and what she perceives is wrong with her life? And I feel like such a crappy friend for even thinking that way, but right now, I just don't want to deal with the negativity, especially when someone just wants to complain and not even try to make things better for themselves.
Total Comments 3
Comments
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Obviously, your crappy friend has got some serious issues. With that said, it seems like your friend is living by the saying of "misery loves company". I'd suggest you informing your friend that she needs to seek the help of a professional. If she takes your suggestion, then maybe, after all of her negative talk, she'll then realize she might actually have a problem. If she seeks help, continue to be her friend. If she doesn't choose help, she'll only get worse. Then you might have to distance yourself from this friend. Good luck!Posted 02-26-2008 at 10:21 PM by MrPryck2U
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I always have said that when things are at their worst, or at their best, those extremes are when you are able to determine who's for real, and who's just coming along for the ride for just a little bit.
You're not a crappy friend, at all. And, good for you for embracing change and taking positive steps to improve your life....that's not an easy thing to do. You should be proud of yourself.Posted 02-27-2008 at 12:17 AM by No spoken words 
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She has to realise it's not all about her and her life. Sometimes we have a bit of a rough time, but that's no reason to harp on about it. If she was a good friend she would have been congratulating you on all the good things you have going for you right now.Posted 03-15-2008 at 05:38 PM by Laura M
