Baby refuseniks - Page 2

indra · 07-29-2009, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by financeguy

I've always been a deranged conspiracy theorist.

At least you're an honest deranged conspiracy theorist!

**yolland** · 07-29-2009, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by financeguy

Er, no not really. I've always been a deranged conspiracy theorist.

Trying to figure out if this is one of those 'This sentence is true'--> / <--'That sentence is false' moments.

Well, my household would be considered 'lower middle class' by most US sociologists' income criteria, we have three kids, and I can assure you I don't consider myself to live in "penury."

anitram · 07-30-2009, 01:07 PM

Stargazing

Wow, I really wanna bite into a chunk of that...

MrsSpringsteen · 07-30-2009, 04:30 PM

If anyone wants to read it

The case against having kids - Arts & Culture Top03 - Macleans.ca

People should not be judged for choosing not to have kids. And some people have kids just to satisfy the expectations of other people, and of society at large. That's not a good reason.

**yolland** · 07-30-2009, 04:51 PM

Quote:

saying “I don’t want kids” is akin to “There’s a bomb on the plane.”

Oh puhLEEZE.

corianderstem · 07-30-2009, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yolland

Oh puhLEEZE.

Well, you have to admit that both pronouncements will sometimes bring a similar reaction:

MrsSpringsteen · 07-30-2009, 05:08 PM

It's probably more like a snake on a plane..

But the "selfish" thing isn't fair either. As if having kids automatically makes you selfless. It's "selfish" to choose not to have kids when you know it's something you don't want to do? It's the most important decision you'll ever make, because other people are involved who didn't choose you. And who will be dependent upon you, mostly for love and all that good stuff. If you resent them well what will result?

martha · 07-30-2009, 05:11 PM

Only one person ever has told me I was selfish for not choosing to have kids. She wasn't my friend, and she couldn't have kids, so she had her own issues.

If people have friends who are calling them selfish for choosing not to have kids, those people need new friends.

MrsSpringsteen · 07-30-2009, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by martha

If people have friends who are calling them selfish for choosing not to have kids, those people need new friends.

I agree. But it's probably something that most people are polite enough not to verbalize. And maybe it's more like "what's wrong with them?" especially for women-because women are still supposed to have that intense, innate desire to procreate and to mother and to nurture in that specific way.

martha · 07-30-2009, 05:17 PM

It's really a non-issue with my circle of family and friends. It's not brought up, and really never has been except for an initial question when first meeting. "Do you have any kids?" "No." Moving on...

I don't get why people have to discuss all this shit to death. Like any of this is anyone else's business.

I'm kind of tired of this new trend to blog and write about stuff and then wonder why crackpots and busybodies get in your face about it. What happened to privacy and discretion?

**Diemen** · 07-30-2009, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by martha

Only one person ever has told me I was selfish for not choosing to have kids. She wasn't my friend, and she couldn't have kids, so she had her own issues.

Not wanting to have children of your own is one thing. Not wanting to bear a child to term so others less fortunate than you could have a child is quite another.

You should be ashamed of yourself, martha.

martha · 07-30-2009, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diemen

Not wanting to have children of your own is one thing. Not wanting to bear a child to term so others less fortunate than you could have a child is quite another.

You should be ashamed of yourself, martha.

I know. I'm so damn selfish.

We should have a law.....

**yolland** · 07-30-2009, 05:20 PM

The thing is, I can tell you from experience that the same tiresome busybodies who'll hound you when you don't have kids for being "incomplete" or "selfish" are the same people who'll then turn around once you DO have kids (if you do) and lecture you about how every one of your kids' problems, from Tourette's to hyperactivity to middling grades to their adult relationships no less, are YOUR FAULT because you do this and that wrong, which, of course, WELL I NEVER would if those were MY kids. Whatever--just grit your teeth, suck it up, and charge on ahead with your life. Yes, people ought to be able to choose to either have kids or not have kids without invasive pressure or shows of disdain from others, but to the extent that you're inevitably gonna encounter that anyway, it ain't that big a deal.

martha · 07-30-2009, 05:21 PM

I guess some people just need to butt in.

MrsSpringsteen · 07-30-2009, 05:22 PM

Well if you can butt in you don't have to focus on your own issues

07-30-2009, 05:11 PM	#23
martha She's the One Premium Gold Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Orange County and all over the goddam place Posts: 32,381 Local Time: 06:21 AM	Only one person ever has told me I was selfish for not choosing to have kids. She wasn't my friend, and she couldn't have kids, so she had her own issues. If people have friends who are calling them selfish for choosing not to have kids, those people need new friends. __________________ Skywheel Skywheel Blog

07-30-2009, 05:17 PM	#25
martha She's the One Premium Gold Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Orange County and all over the goddam place Posts: 32,381 Local Time: 06:21 AM	It's really a non-issue with my circle of family and friends. It's not brought up, and really never has been except for an initial question when first meeting. "Do you have any kids?" "No." Moving on... I don't get why people have to discuss all this shit to death. Like any of this is anyone else's business. I'm kind of tired of this new trend to blog and write about stuff and then wonder why crackpots and busybodies get in your face about it. What happened to privacy and discretion? __________________ Skywheel Skywheel Blog

07-30-2009, 05:20 PM	#28
yolland Forum Moderator Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 5,847 Local Time: 02:21 PM	The thing is, I can tell you from experience that the same tiresome busybodies who'll hound you when you don't have kids for being "incomplete" or "selfish" are the same people who'll then turn around once you DO have kids (if you do) and lecture you about how every one of your kids' problems, from Tourette's to hyperactivity to middling grades to their adult relationships no less, are YOUR FAULT because you do this and that wrong, which, of course, WELL I NEVER would if those were MY kids. Whatever--just grit your teeth, suck it up, and charge on ahead with your life. Yes, people ought to be able to choose to either have kids or not have kids without invasive pressure or shows of disdain from others, but to the extent that you're inevitably gonna encounter that anyway, it ain't that big a deal. __________________ yolland@interference.com μελετώ αποτυγχάνειν. -- Διογένης της Σινώπης

07-30-2009, 05:21 PM	#29
martha She's the One Premium Gold Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Orange County and all over the goddam place Posts: 32,381 Local Time: 06:21 AM	I guess some people just need to butt in. __________________ Skywheel Skywheel Blog

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

07-30-2009, 01:07 PM	#18
anitram ONE love, blood, life Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: NY Posts: 12,689 Local Time: 09:21 AM	Stargazing Wow, I really wanna bite into a chunk of that...

07-30-2009, 04:30 PM	#19
MrsSpringsteen Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: happy St. Patrick's Day Posts: 20,345 Local Time: 09:21 AM	If anyone wants to read it The case against having kids - Arts & Culture Top03 - Macleans.ca People should not be judged for choosing not to have kids. And some people have kids just to satisfy the expectations of other people, and of society at large. That's not a good reason.

07-30-2009, 05:08 PM	#22
MrsSpringsteen Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: happy St. Patrick's Day Posts: 20,345 Local Time: 09:21 AM	It's probably more like a snake on a plane.. But the "selfish" thing isn't fair either. As if having kids automatically makes you selfless. It's "selfish" to choose not to have kids when you know it's something you don't want to do? It's the most important decision you'll ever make, because other people are involved who didn't choose you. And who will be dependent upon you, mostly for love and all that good stuff. If you resent them well what will result?

07-30-2009, 05:22 PM	#30
MrsSpringsteen Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: happy St. Patrick's Day Posts: 20,345 Local Time: 09:21 AM	Well if you can butt in you don't have to focus on your own issues

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
"Baby Won't Ya" by the MC5 is the prefect rock 'n roll song	MrBrau1	Lemonade Stand Archive	15	02-17-2007 07:32 PM
Toys R Us Disqualifies First Baby Of 07	MrsSpringsteen	Free Your Mind Archive	33	01-14-2007 10:33 PM
stay and ultraviolet tabs	Arun V	Three Chords and the Truth	2	10-15-2005 05:09 AM
i'm going out of my mind	oliveu2cm	PLEBA Archive	56	05-26-2003 09:26 PM
Moobday: Baby Baby Baby light my way!	flaming june	PLEBA Archive	227	05-01-2003 10:53 PM