Girl trouble... Again.

ReFan · 04-12-2009, 06:43 PM

Here's the deal. Out of nowhere, I've started to become attracted to my best friend, who I've known for three years. Alot of our friends and people we know think we make a cute couple. She doesn't. I asked her if she'd get with me, and she said no, later stating that she'd like to STAY my friend, and nothing more. But I don't know. I still like her, but I don't know what I should do. Should I give it another go, perhaps at a more appropriate moment (I had asked her RIGHT after 2nd period... Maybe THAT had something to do with it)? Or should I give in to her response, and stay her friend, whom I steal hugs from whenever I can?

coolian2 · 04-12-2009, 07:23 PM

sounds like you've done all you can tbh.

vaz02 · 04-12-2009, 07:53 PM

Im in the same situation, best to leave it as friends mate.

Purplereign · 04-13-2009, 01:37 AM

thats all kinda yuck . . . unrequited feelings are a killer, but she said she just wants to be friends . . . so if you can just be her friend do it, she may just come to her senses eventually

tonnes of luck to you

Galeongirl · 04-13-2009, 03:53 AM

Don't ask her again. She already gave you a clear no. You'd just push your luck and might lose her as a friend altogether!
Stay her friend, and who knows what'll happen in the future.

kafrun · 04-13-2009, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Galeongirl

Don't ask her again. She already gave you a clear no. You'd just push your luck and might lose her as a friend altogether!
Stay her friend, and who knows what'll happen in the future.

Pretty much what I was going to say. There's nothing I loathe more than a friend who wants more and won't get the hint until you give them a clear and firm(often harsh) "NO". If you keep pushing, you'll push her right out of your life. If it's meant to be more, she'll come around. I once ended up with a guy I'd originally said no to.

vaz02 · 04-13-2009, 11:45 PM

Play the long game mate. The tortoise beat the hare.

WCF · 04-14-2009, 01:30 AM

To put it bluntly... ffffrrriiieeeennndddzzzooonnneeedd!!

Ok seriously though. Yeah, if your really into her, it's probably one of the worst emotional things you can go through...especially if you psyche yourself up too much. Just learn to let it go and move on. Before, perhaps I'd give you some options or something you could take, but I've never had success myself and don't know anyone who has with the dreaded friendzone. girls! :P

One thing a lot of people don't seem to understand about the situation is the difficulty of staying friends with someone your attracted to. You mention stealing hugs... but, honestly, what is that really going to do? It will probably just keep you "hooked," maybe wanting more. It's hard to get rid of someone in your mind when your constantly seeing each other, and on such good terms too. Sometimes, I find it necessary to break a friendship for a while (subtely) just to get rid of the feeling.

High school drama

ReFan · 04-14-2009, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WCF

To put it bluntly... ffffrrriiieeeennndddzzzooonnneeedd!!

Ok seriously though. Yeah, if your really into her, it's probably one of the worst emotional things you can go through...especially if you psyche yourself up too much. Just learn to let it go and move on. Before, perhaps I'd give you some options or something you could take, but I've never had success myself and don't know anyone who has with the dreaded friendzone. girls! :P

One thing a lot of people don't seem to understand about the situation is the difficulty of staying friends with someone your attracted to. You mention stealing hugs... but, honestly, what is that really going to do? It will probably just keep you "hooked," maybe wanting more. It's hard to get rid of someone in your mind when your constantly seeing each other, and on such good terms too. Sometimes, I find it necessary to break a friendship for a while (subtely) just to get rid of the feeling.

High school drama

So what do you suggest? Find someone else to attach to?

coolian2 · 04-14-2009, 10:27 PM

you don't need to find someone else, it's not like you always have to be lusting after someone. you just need at accept her decision and move on, because anything else is exceedingly unhealthy for you and your friendship.

Galeongirl · 04-15-2009, 05:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coolian2

you don't need to find someone else, it's not like you always have to be lusting after someone. you just need at accept her decision and move on, because anything else is exceedingly unhealthy for you and your friendship.

Agreed 100%.

Today it seems like you're nothing if you're single or so, I keep getting that feeling from 'popular' kids. That's total bullshit, you don't need someone else to be happy, ofcourse it's nice to have someone, but it's not like your life depends on it.

coolian2 · 04-15-2009, 05:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Galeongirl

Agreed 100%.

Today it seems like you're nothing if you're single or so, I keep getting that feeling from 'popular' kids. That's total bullshit, you don't need someone else to be happy, ofcourse it's nice to have someone, but it's not like your life depends on it.

exactly. i mean, i'm sure as hell a lot happier now than i was when i was single - but i didn't feel like i was a complete failure as a person just because i didn't have a girlfriend. it's nice, but it's not necessary and more people need to accept that.

WCF · 04-15-2009, 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ReFan

So what do you suggest? Find someone else to attach to?

The mentality that you need someone to be attached to, as others pointed out, is bad.

Buuuuuut, on the other hand, perhaps finding someone else might be good for you. Don't think of it as looking for someone else to be attached to, more like... "expanding your horizons." :P

During prom season, there was drama between me and the girl everyone, including me, expected me to go to prom with. Obviously I didn't want to go with someone if there was going to be trouble, so I went out looking for someone else. Although I eventually did end up going with that girl, I made friends with a lot of people just by going out and actively talking to people. It also killed a lot of that... "excessive passion" I had for her. Win-win if you ask me.

nadie · 04-16-2009, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vaz02

Play the long game mate. The tortoise beat the hare.

xkcd - A Webcomic - Friends

lauramullen · 04-16-2009, 08:19 PM

Stay just friends with her. Respect her decision. I agree with everyone else

04-12-2009, 06:43 PM	#1
ReFan The Fly Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: East LA Posts: 52 Local Time: 05:04 AM	Girl trouble... Again. Here's the deal. Out of nowhere, I've started to become attracted to my best friend, who I've known for three years. Alot of our friends and people we know think we make a cute couple. She doesn't. I asked her if she'd get with me, and she said no, later stating that she'd like to STAY my friend, and nothing more. But I don't know. I still like her, but I don't know what I should do. Should I give it another go, perhaps at a more appropriate moment (I had asked her RIGHT after 2nd period... Maybe THAT had something to do with it)? Or should I give in to her response, and stay her friend, whom I steal hugs from whenever I can?

04-13-2009, 01:37 AM	#4
Purplereign ONE love, blood, life Premium Gold Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: where I can Breathe . . . and it's Magnificent Posts: 13,617 Local Time: 11:04 PM	thats all kinda yuck . . . unrequited feelings are a killer, but she said she just wants to be friends . . . so if you can just be her friend do it, she may just come to her senses eventually tonnes of luck to you __________________ *'You might just as well say, that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!'*

04-16-2009, 08:19 PM	#15
lauramullen Jersey Girl who loves U2 Premium Silver Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: In my own little world Posts: 32,228 Local Time: 08:04 AM	Stay just friends with her. Respect her decision. I agree with everyone else __________________ 2010 Concert Schedule: March 5th- Muse- NYC/ MSG May 26th &29th- Bon Jovi- East Rutherford/ New Stadium June 6 &7th- U2- Anaheim/ Angel Stadium June 12th- U2- Denver/ Invesco Field June 16th- U2- Oakland/Oakland Coliseum July 1st- Dave Matthews Band- Philly/ S. Bank Center July12th- U2- Philly/Lincoln Financial Field July 16th- Dave Matthews Band- NYC/Citi Field July 19th- U2- East Rutherford/New Stadium

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04-12-2009, 07:53 PM	#3
vaz02 Rock n' Roll Doggie ALL ACCESS Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: manchester Posts: 7,255 Local Time: 12:04 PM	Im in the same situation, best to leave it as friends mate.

04-13-2009, 11:45 PM	#7
vaz02 Rock n' Roll Doggie ALL ACCESS Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: manchester Posts: 7,255 Local Time: 12:04 PM	Play the long game mate. The tortoise beat the hare.

04-14-2009, 01:30 AM	#8
WCF The Fly Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 253 Local Time: 05:04 AM	To put it bluntly... ffffrrriiieeeennndddzzzooonnneeedd!! Ok seriously though. Yeah, if your really into her, it's probably one of the worst emotional things you can go through...especially if you psyche yourself up too much. Just learn to let it go and move on. Before, perhaps I'd give you some options or something you could take, but I've never had success myself and don't know anyone who has with the dreaded friendzone. girls! :P One thing a lot of people don't seem to understand about the situation is the difficulty of staying friends with someone your attracted to. You mention stealing hugs... but, honestly, what is that really going to do? It will probably just keep you "hooked," maybe wanting more. It's hard to get rid of someone in your mind when your constantly seeing each other, and on such good terms too. Sometimes, I find it necessary to break a friendship for a while (subtely) just to get rid of the feeling. High school drama