Cactus Annie

LOCATION: A Dublin pub which is owned by Paul and Norman Hewson.
CAST: Bono, Norman Hewson and his wife, June (Head Barmaid), Lee (June's teenage son), Ed (June's beefy elder son) and 3 aliens.

(Bono runs out of the beer garden into the bar. He's in a state of panic)

NORMAN: Hey, where's the fire?
BONO: A spaceship of aliens have landed outside this pub.
(Norman and his wife burst out laughing)
NORMAN: Good one. I could do with a laugh after the day I had
BONO: No it's true. We've got to leave, now! (Grabbing hold of his arm)
NORMAN: I'm afraid I'm not in the mood for your fun and games today. I've had a busy day and I just want a quiet pint.
BONO: I'm not messing around
(June walks in from the celler.)
JUNE: Can any of you guys help. Me and Ed are having trouble with one of the pipes to the lager barrel.
BONO: Aliens have landed outside
JUNE: Well they better not be scaring away my punters!
(3 aliens walk in through the back do leading to the garden. One of them is holding a gun)
JUNE: 'Ere. You're not welcome in here. GET OUT OF MY PUB!
(The alien points its gun at Bono, Norman and his wife. They disappear into thin air. He then blasts his gun at a table of customers who also disappear along with part of the back wall, making a dog bark)
JUNE: DO THAT AGAIN AND I GET ED ON TO YER!
(The alien does the same thing to Lee who's sitting at the bar looking gormless)
JUNE: YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO HIM. HE'S FAMILY!
(Finally the alien points its gun at June)
JUNE: ED. COME AND SORT THESE OUT! EEEEEEEEEED
(She disappears)

ali26

i like it.

Rosebud

Good. Lord.

Bonogirl777

I like it.